Are You "And" or "But" ?

Recently I was engaged in conversation with a friend concerning a particular individual (I'll call him Carl) who I was considering doing business with. When I inquired about Carl to my friend he said, "He's really a talented guy, smart, well-spoken, has been very successful while operating his business. "And besides that," he went on to say, "he's just a nice guy. Honest, trustworthy, a person of integrity, fair, community-oriented, family guy someone you'd want to be associated with".

In contrast to Carl, I was reading about a Syrian military warrior who lived during 800's BC. His name was Naaman. This is how he was described.....

"Now Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram. He was a valiant soldier, but he had leprosy.

I was taken back by the description of Naaman because of the ending or if you like, the "but". All the wonderful things that were mentioned of him were almost entirely erased because of the negative

 "... but he had leprosy."

In ancient times, leprosy was a terrible skin disease that was not curable and thought to be punishment from God for the person's past sins. They were so cursed that when they died they were buried outside city walls and were remembered as "unclean".

As I reflected on these two different add-on descriptions of a person between "and" or "but" I considered the number of people who have told me of the negative "but's" over the years. Here are some examples and I bet in your own life you can see the faces when you hear..

"He's a good mechanic and heavy equipment operator, but he's also a liar and a thief"

"She knew her stuff and very competent, but she was a gossip and kept things stirred up in the office."

"He was really fun to be with most of the time, but he was drunk and didn't know how to handle his booze."

" Yeah you can make some good money working for that company, but the managers you have to work with are tyrants"

How sad that some people will end their life or career or relationship with a negative "but" attached to their knowen existence.

People don't often get a chance to see inside our hearts and understand the motive or circumstances that shaped our life..All they see is our actions or behavior.

Without realizing it, we all are leaving a daily impression with our relationships on the job, in the office, on the farm, in the store at our family gatherings. We are unconsciously building a "but" or "and" as an addition to who people say we are.

Since I read of Naaman, I am more aware of the "and" that I want to leave behind as positive.
 "Bill Lewis was a valuable part of our organization, and..............."

Let those attributes, those "and's" describe me as I strive to
Finished Well.

How about you? Are you "and" or "but"

FIRST, Tell The Truth....Then Give Your Opinion

Business Leaders globally and society, in general, would benefit greatly by heeding this advice. As the old saying goes, "opinions are like certain parts of your body, everyone has one."

Along with the headline quote by Dennis Prager, the underlying suggestions is that truth doesn't appear to matter much anymore and has been replaced with loud opinion which has overtaken rational thinking. Just because you've heard it on Foxnews, Skynews, CNN, or read it on Facebook, does not constitute truth. For the most part, hacks on cable outlets and social media, are speaking opinions perpetrated by political agendas. This is evident in a variety of subjects e.g. COVID-19, BLM, police reform, re-opening the economy, returning to school etc.

It has become routine to utter partial truths or be disingenuous with partial truth while spouting opinions and trying to disguise it as truth. As a reminder, "partial truths", still constitute a lie. In the court of law in America as a witness is preparing to testify he/she raises their right hand and proclaims  "I Solemnly swear, to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God." Should it be found that the testifying witness did not tell the truth, they could be convicted of perjury and go to jail.

Gossip was once considered an ugly and distasteful form of communication, both in and out of the work environment. Today, it's been replaced with uninformed babble with a touch of outrage and threatening or accusatory language. For example, if you happen to believe that all lives matter, you're a racist. If you believe we should protect the environment, you're a wacko leftist. Both subjects have substantial room for conversation, fact-finding, dialogue, and healthy debate but we never seem to get to that level of communication. People would rather scream at each other or worse, remain silent in an effort to not offend.

The result is, we have become intellectual pygmies, not willing to find or defend truth or listen to other points of view.

There is a desperate need for truth, facts, and authoritative back up to support emotional claims. We've all heard there are two things you should never talk about,  Politics or Religion. Why? Because most of the time those subjects are littered with emotional opinions which causes arguments, hard feelings, and even broken relationships. I will use one of the two 'never talk about" subjects to make my point.

 The other day a person wanted to express to me his opinion on what happens after a person dies. The subject of religion ensued and this person made a few well-used statements. "I believe there are many different ways to heaven after a person dies. Not just one way" or "The Bible is written by a bunch of men and is full of contradiction". When responding with sincere curiosity and inquiry I asked "what is the source or authority you use for saying that?" This person (like many) replied, 'Well, that's just the way I feel". Those types of answers are based on uninformed opinion and are typical when people are trying to make a case for politics, religion, climate change, or a host of other subjects where "that's the way I feel" is somehow a get out of jail free card that excuses the person from offering intellectual facts. We have become a brain dead society.

The definition of TRUTH: "that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality"

For many years now, I have propounded to business leaders that they "educate" not just train their employees. Primarily because our institutional education systems have failed us, and parents are woefully ignorant on matters most important for living and human flourishing.

We have generations coming up who will be responsible for every aspect of society, and they themselves do not understand

> Different economic systems. The pros and cons of each

> Basic financial management principles

> Moral or ethical standards and where they originate

> History

> Civic law and civic responsibility

> Religion..Their origin and individual claims

> Consequences for actions taken by individuals and/or organizations

So why should business leaders take on this role of educating what people should already know, but don't? Because no one else has the platform you have to educate people about issues affecting the real world. Your employees should be schooled in these subjects to prepare them to make informed decisions to guide your organization in the future.

I'm familiar with organizations that schedule communication meetings at least quarterly with employees to inform them of the status of the organization and give product/ service knowledge. But these organizations need to expand those meeting agendas to discuss some of the above-mentioned topics along with current events and the impact those events might have on your organization.

My counsel to managers over the years on communicating is simple.

1. Tell it all

2. Tell it your self

3. Tell it now

We truly are in danger of losing the foundation of the greatest human experiment in history, the U.S.A. 

Why? Because we have strayed away from Truth.

 Set the ground rules in your information meetings for presenters and attendees which includes a) all opinions are welcome, b) they should be backed up with "fact".

First, tell the Truth, then give your opinion so that as an organization and country we can.....

Finish Well