The Death Of 2019

Definition of death: a permanent cessation of all vital functions:

Whatever you think of this year that’s about to pass it’s almost over. You may have experienced great joy, happiness, victories personally and professionally. On the other hand, because of disappointments, failures, unfortunate circumstances 2019 can’t end soon enough. But regardless of which end of the spectrum you’re on, 2019 is about to die.

At the outset, you may be thinking this is going to be a dark read. But it won’t. Be patient. Stay with me this is an honest look at the past that will propel us into the future days of 2020.

In the definition written above the key word is “permanent”. In life you don't get do-overs, or re-dues regardless of how grand it was or how terribly painful 2019 might have been, it’s gone forever.

Psychologist identify the 3 greatest sources of stress or anxiety

1.    Divorce

2.    Death of a loved one

3.    Loss of a job

What do all three of these have in common?

 A loss of a relationship(s).

 For some it may also include the loss of “identity.” With these losses there is an absence of what once existed as good but is now dead. During 2019 I have known people who have been deeply hurt because they experienced one of the top three listed. A man who cherished the love of his life experiences great loss through death.  A divorced woman suffers the death of a relationship once so sweet and promising.  Persons who were so connected and committed to their work stood helpless as they were told they weren’t wanted anymore. It’s over!

In contrast there are some who found 2019 the best ever. New job, greater personal wealth, a new or strengthened relationship personally and/or professionally. I’ve watched some exciting events unfold in the lives of friends, family and associates. I’ve read of people who have “made it” to the top in sports, financially, physically and spiritually. But these great moments in 2019 will also die at midnight December 31, 2019.

 Be it a good or bad 2019 you may experience some carry over into the New Year and possibly beyond. But how should we view going forward by what was left behind?

Ø Nothing last forever. I believe that in my own life, God has allowed enough victories to keep me encouraged, and enough defeats to keep me humble. He wants me to depend on Him in every category of my life.

Ø Savor the sweet fragrance of the good memories, let go of those cancerous thoughts that will damage the soul or relationships.

  >  Be thankful in all things and adjust going forward. 

Ø In all your defeats and victories, review the actions, words, circumstances, people to determine who or what to continue or avoid in your life.

Ø  Live Today and Finish Well

“Today, I will live today.
Yesterday is past.
Tomorrow is not yet.
I’m left with today.

So, today, I will live today.

Relive yesterday? No.
I will learn from it.
I will seek mercy for it.
I will take joy in it.
But I won’t live in it.

The sun has set on yesterday.

The sun has yet to rise on tomorrow.
Worry about the future? To what gain?
It deserves a glance, nothing more.
I can’t change tomorrow until tomorrow.

Today I will live today.
I will face today’s challenges with today’s strength.
I will dance today’s waltz with today’s music.
I will celebrate today’s opportunities with today’s hope.

Today.
May I laugh, listen, learn, and love today.
And, tomorrow, if it comes, may I do so again.”

Max Lucado

Trying To Managing Life and Business Without Real Purpose?

"The tragedy of life is not death,  but rather, it’s living without purpose! "

                                                                                                                                                             Myles Munroe

Like so many people, I’ve read good books and heard great speakers talk about the importance of  “purpose” - “vision” and “mission” statements necessary for business and personal guidance for the journey through life. And like most, I had good intentions but never got around to actually writing it down.  Oh I had ideas floating around in my head about how I envisioned the way my work life and personal life should look, but never really focused my thinking until one night on a very long overseas flight back home.

For several hours on that plane, I wrote, re-wrote, thought, mediated on the direction I wanted my life to go and contemplated the real “reason” I exist on this earth and the purpose of my life and business. On that night, I put pen to paper and wrote 3 separate purpose statements for My Business, My Marriage and for My Life. Although I have it committed to memory, on occasion I will pull out the original hand written paper to check on my progress, get re-focused, or make needed adjustments.

So why is having a Purpose Statement so important? Forgive me, but I have two very personal examples, in which I make my argument practical and relevant,

1.     This discipline has proven invaluable to me in the past year, as I made certain I was on the right track during turbulent life challenges. Just 14 months ago my wife was diagnosed with a life threating disease.  As I walked along side of her through the treatments e.g. the good days and bad days associated with cancer, I often returned to my purpose statement as a reminder of the commitment I made and my purpose as a husband to my precious wife. I can’t adequately describe how these steadfast statements focused me on my purpose as her husband and my responsibility in marriage as we battled together in the midst of those difficult days. I loved her deeply and miss her greatly.

2.     Gina lost the battle with cancer, but she was victorious in life because she knew her purpose. On this earth Gina was not well known by the masses. But she was known by many in her circle of influence and had a powerful impact on those who knew her best.  Especially me. Gina had “purpose” and knew who she was in this world and her purpose while living accompanied with the comforting certainty of her eternal destination at death. Until her last days I witnessed her live out the answer to the Westminster Shorter Catechism question, i.e. “What is the chief end of man?” Answer.. “To

glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”

 Gina would agree with the apostle Paul and his proclamation while writing a letter to Timothy during his own pending death……

“ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day: and not to me only, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:7

As for me, I will continue to live out, with God’s help and in accordance to His will, the “purpose statement” I have written for my life and my business. If you want to see what a simple but well thought out “Purpose Statement” looks like, let me know, I’ll be happy to share with you.

As I have consulted hundreds and hundreds of students and business professionals over the years, I implore you, don’t sleep walk through life. You have a purpose on this earth. I don’t believe God put you on this earth to merely suck up air and then die. What is the purpose of your organization? Is it just to make money? I don’t think so. Mature, serious adults and leaders will contemplate then answer these questions.  So, What is it? Write it down and then live it out as we all strive to…

Finish Well

#3 of - The Hypocrisy of Company Value Statement

 Today’s post is a continuation of what I have observed over these many years working with all types of organizations dealing with issues that destroy the health and well being of a business.

 While many will embrace books like “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People” (a great book by the way) and other “how to” books for success, few will look at their organizations critically and determine what not to do. 

 

On occasion I have been accused of being negative or being a consultant just looking for problems. Although I can see how that might be true in the eyes of the insecure manager or protectors of the status quo, the fact is I seek both the good and bad in the company cultures and prescribe needed adjustments to move and align the organizations for success.

Using my list of those do’s and dont’s listed in part #1, I now move to a different subject title for your consideration.

Don’t be un-kind.

Seems like a no brainer right? The fact is there are some places that have become places where being unkind is at best ignored, at worst part of the organizational culture. Often this unhealthy behavior manifests in a few not so subtle ways.

1.Words. Dismissive, condescending, critical, vulgar, accusatory, angry words.

I was asked by an organization to view a new acquisition of theirs to determine it's existing company culture. When I returned to the home office and met with the Corporate HR people, I told them I could sum up the culture in one word. “Un-kindness.” The way people treated each other was appalling. The language they used in meetings, and in the hall ways was unbelievable to me. It was not always an “in your face” approach, but you got the message by tone, body language in addition to actual spoken words.

2. Using and abusing.

Sadly I’ve witnessed this much to often. I worked with a CEO many years ago who I thought was one of the best salesman and leaders of a large organization I had ever seen. To this day, I still use some of the principles learned from him. However he had one huge character flaw. 

 When he was done with you, he turned on you in ways that were very unkind, sometimes destructive. He would talk about you to others in the most disparaging ways. He had an ego that was so big he was unwilling to give others consideration for success apart from himself. 

 

 In another example I have a good friend who has dedicated many years of service to his organization. Over time new managers with new philosophies have entered the business. As a result, this well meaning dedicated employee has suffered a slow death at the hands of un-kind managers. Twisting in the wind, he has become tortured by un-kindness by many top executives (and of course, a bunch of little VP’s who have joined the parade of unkind behavior hoping to gain favor in a sucking up posture). Co-workers in this business pass this guy in the hall way and purposely do not make eye contact or acknowledge his existence.

 I’ve often wondered the motive for turning so ugly on this guy. Is it to justify their decision? Is it an effort to build themselves up by tearing someone else down? Sad! They could have shown much more compassion by just terminating him years ago. The puzzling part of the story is he’s received great performance reviews for years.

Years ago it was my job to terminate a person who had outlived his effectiveness at our company. Bob was a great guy, but just didn’t fit any longer. I called Bob into my office and told him “Bob. You’re a good guy and good at what you do. However, what you do we don’t need done anymore so I’m going to let you go. But to let you know it’s not personal I’m going to pay you for 6 months until you find another job. There’s only two things you have to do to earn that pay check. 1. Don’t come to building again and 2. Don't call here.” Although his pride was understandably bruised for a time, he got over it and even called me years later to thank me for the way I handled that difficult process. 

Two final examples, and with this, I close.

1.     Today I heard from a very successful women who is the manager operating in the retail industry. She oversees one store location with many employees and their store scores in the top 10% in the region in sales and profitability. During the companies regional managers meeting this week, she described how the “corporate” people are always looking for what is wrong, rather than encouraging you for things done well. It seems to me that low level corporate people think their task is to try and keep people on edge, making them wonder where they stand. How sad. How un-kind.

 

 So called leaders like this believe that somehow their dismissive comments will motivate people to do better. Leaders should be encouragers lifting others up. Leaders should be coaching for improvement not criticize for effect.

2.      Two weeks ago I was in Senegal W. Africa, witnessing a management team who work with local farmers teaching them how to grow crops in a desolate,  desert region of the world. As it was described to me by one of the leaders, “We want to not only teach but we want to show our employees and community how we treat each other. How we treat and protect the land and our animals. We are living an example, not just telling.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we lived the “Value Statements” that hang on our company walls? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to show kindness for a truly healthy organization?

Leaders, Finish Well!!!

Part # 2 - Hypocrisy and Values

Welcome to part 2 on the subject of “The Hypocrisy in Corporate Value Statements”, and thanks to all who wrote me to express your opinion or comments from part 1.

Your comments and opinions are always welcome and appreciated. Really! Iron sharpens iron.

One comment came from a guy whom I admire a great deal and whom I consider my friend. He’s CEO of a large company with multi national locations. He suggested that I should have used one of the more “positive” title options I had listed. This CEO is a very up beat and positive guy and leads his organization looking at the glass half full and seeing the world full of opportunities. I admire his consistent attitude.

The reason I used the title I did was because of the word “Hypocrite.”

The word hypocrite ultimately came into English from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player.” Wearing a theatrical mask from the 1st century B.C. people “pretended” to be something they were not.

 I’m sure you’ve heard non-religious people explain why they don’t go to church. One of the reasons they often use is because there are so many hypocrites (church members) in those buildings who live differently than what they profess, their pretenders, actors, who live like everyone else but claim morale supremacy. Parenthetically, do the people who make those tedious claims about people who go to church, really think they will get a free pass and that God will say “OMG, I never looked at it that way.”

 The same thing holds true with businesses who loudly declare their values and ethics but who are, by their actions, really just pretenders.

Today, I’m going to frame this blog post with “The Destroyers Of A Healthy Company Culture.”  The two destroyers described are difficult to control and require a consistent discipline starting with people at the top of the organization. They are…

Ø  Eliminate gossip

Ø  Get rid of those who spread dissension.       

Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; the act is also known as dishing or tattling.

 What is it about humans that we have a desire to talk about other people? In America we have a 3 billion dollar industry called tabloid newspapers or “gossip magazines” and TV programs in which the focus is talking about other people’s lives, true or untrue doesn’t 

matter. Anthropologists suggest people talk to people about other people to build a bond with someone or to isolate someone else who does not support their group. Also there is that desire in some people to be viewed as “in the know.” This seductive habit draws the most sadistic traits out of us.

Sadly, this habit, unchecked, can become a poison in your organization and, if not dealt with, can become part of the accepted norm. I worked with a large accounting group whose major cause for the dysfunction was little groups who became silos of gossip about others. Unfortunately, I’ve sat in board rooms where the top executives “warm up” was to laugh or gossip about people in their business. 

Some of you might be saying right now, “lighten up Bill, have a sense of humor. It’s just innocent behavior.” Not so fast! The little term “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a lie. It does hurt and you can bet the target of gossip will find out one way or the other.

So can you stop it in your organization? Probably not completely, but there are things you can do beyond establishing a policy or “no gossip zone.”

1.     Top leadership should let people know how they feel about this destructive habit in their communication along side of their value statements.

2.     I read an article on this subject in the Harvard Business Review that is worth sharing.

“Gossip.  When I can see the conversation is headed in a gossip direction, I politely stop them and say: “Please do not put anything in my head that you expect me to not act on. I will not carry around a conclusion about another person without sharing it with them.” This helps people understand that when they give you information, they take responsibility — otherwise you don’t want it.”

3.     Before you begin to pass along information about another person, follow Alan Redpath’s suggestion. Think before you speak. Ask yourself “is it true, is it helpful, is it necessary, is it kind.”

The other destructive behavior is similar to gossip but with more individual connotations, i.e. carriers of dissention or troublemakers. There are some people in almost every business who delight in “stirring the pot” by talking about others or complaining about the company, policies and or customers. Sadly some of these people are often some of the most talented people in the organization. If only they could challenge their energy in a more productive way. These people can be cancer in your business by their habit of tearing others down to make themselves look good.

I worked with a very talented CFO who was like this. He would come in my office and talk about the short comings of his boss (the president of the company). Being a consultant, I had to tread softly but I was able to affirm my support of the president and my confidence in his ability to run the organization.  Union’s get their genesis with this type of behavior. Nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion but carried to an extreme a culture of “WE versus THEM” begins to form.

So what to do about it if this is a pervasive problem.

1.     Deal with it head on with those people who are your problem people. If you know of this troubling habit and do nothing then, in essence, you’re condoning destructive behavior.

2.     Make behaviors part of the “performance review.” Let people know that their growth in the organization will be, in part, the consideration of behavior and attitudes toward the organization and fellow employees.

3.     Develop a culture of “positive feedback.” I actually teach such a class, which outlines the do’s and dont’s of the process, and give empirical evidence of how it works in real business life.

Stay tuned for the next post as we explore hypocritical habits and search for destroyers of a healthy company culture. Striving always to…

Finish Well