This Too Shall Pass

 This was a favorite saying of my dad's. He told me it was from the Bible, but it wasn't. Its origin has been traced to the works of Persian poets. My father was a child of the "great depression", a member of the hoards of people migrating from the South to the West Coast as in the "grapes of wrath", a POW in Germany during WWII and he raised a family with meager existence on a small poor man's  farm in Arkansas. He saw the best of times and certainly the worst of times. When he had reached the end of his life at 91, he had a confident assurance that whether he was in the midst of troubling circumstances or living large "this too shall pass". 

The world is presently in the throes of a pandemic that we've never experienced before. Our lives have been altered dramatically with shutdowns and now we are shut-ins. It's a prison sentence for a while, but my father would tell you "this too shall pass". A contributing factor to the anguish of this event is the non-stop, 24-hour discussion about the same subject on social media and cable TV. My brother shared a website where you can get real-time incident numbers and body counts graphically displayed for every State in the U.S. or country in the world. It's kinda like the debt clock. 

Like the rest of you, I'm sequestered in my home doing the best I can to stay occupied. I am blessed to live on 5 acres on top of a mountain in the Ozarks. There aren't many humans up here, but lots of wildlife. I exercise in my little home gym, hike in the forest and do my daily chores. I also do plenty to keep my mind occupied with meaningful information. Information to enhance my knowledge and feed my soul. I'm often up before 4 am and it has become the best hours of my day.

Recently I've been doing a study following the work of Dr. Tim Keller. This recent study has taken me to a favorite leadership/personal mantra of mine i.e. "knowing my purpose".

As you may recall from my discussions during lectures or in my writings, that many years ago I penned a purpose statement for my marriage, my business, and my life. At the core of each discipline is the desire to honor God in everything I do. The apostle Paul said: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now, as always, Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death". Phillippians1:20 NIV. This focused determination has sustained me through the past  8 months which have the been the toughest I ever thought I would experience in this thing called "life".

Celebrated Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl is best-known for his 1946 psychological memoir Man's Search for Meaning a meditation on what the gruesome experience of Auschwitz taught him about the primary purpose of life: the quest for meaning, which sustained those who survived. He talks about the observation of prisoners in the same circumstance and their reaction. They fell into basically three categories....

 1) those who became bitter which lead some to evil

 2) those who just gave up and died in despair 

 3)  those who became brave, helpful and seemed to flourish amid harsh circumstances. 

The key for those in the third category was that they had a sense of "meaning" or "purpose" in their lives. Knowing your purpose can guide your attitude. During our Leadership Conferences, we often discuss the attitude we will embrace every day.

Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Again I quote Paul who said, " I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want".

With this in mind, for me, here are the things I choose for the coming days (maybe weeks) during this pandemic.

1. To be thankful each day for what I do have. Good health, family and friends, a roof over my head, food in the pantry. (and for some of you, LOTS of toilet paper)

2. Attention to the growth of my personal development: Mental, Physical and Spiritual

3. Turning off the TV

4. Staying in touch with family and friends for companionship and encouragement.

5. Revisit my "purpose" for when we come out on the other side of this world event. What do I want to be...to.my family, my community, my profession and to my God the giver of life it's self?

These are amazing times, but this too shall pass and as Frankl observed

"Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate."

Be blessed, be encouraged ----- Finish Well

HOPE - 2020

As we begin another year, many resolutions will be made and people will HOPE they will be able to accomplish those resolutions. HOPE is an interesting word depending on usage or content. Our English word of HOPE projects more of a sense of wishful thinking, i.e. "I hope it doesn't rain today." So, under that definition, let me say upfront, I HOPE for you and your organization the very best during the coming New Year!

However, I like the Greek word for HOPE (Elpízo) because it expresses a “confident or strong expectation”.

Dr. Tim Keller was helpful in my thinking process as I transitioned from"The Death of 2019" (my last blog post) to HOPE - 2020. He suggests that there are two components to HOPE "Desire" and "Expectation." He says we all have desires but most often people are confused with who, what or how those desires will be satisfied. In other words, where does our hope come from?

 RL Goodall, is CEO of a great company on the East Coast of the U.S, DVCC Inc.  They are a former client of mine and he is a guy I consider a true friend. Among a number of his admirable characteristics, I know him to be a thoughtful person and a great leader. 

When his children were little, he began the day by asking two important questions of them.

 Question #1 "What kind of day are we going to have kids?"(Desire) the answer, "it's going to be a great day". Question #2 "Who's going to make it that way?" answer (Expectation) "We are!"

As he tells the story, this was a daily event. This constant reminder set the course of the day for his children. Besides, it began their individual growth "thinking" to be positive and self-reliant.

In contrast, in today's "victim" society, or at the very least self-centered society, too many people, are looking somewhere else, something else or someone else to fill their HOPE i.e. the boss, government, spouse, a new love, money, title, status, etc. They are looking for satisfaction in "stuff".  C.S. Lewis describes this magic thing for happiness sought by people as the "It" that evades us. The "It," even when acquired seldom satisfies.

In the pages of the book "The Real American Dream: The meditation of Hope" by professor Andrew Delbanco, he describes the evolution of the American cultural focus from God, to Nation to Self since the 18th century. The main HOPE that American culture holds out now, is you need to decide what will be a fulfilling life for YOU. What matters is not our nation, our people, not God, What matters is that you are happy and that you are making a difference. The latter part of the 20th and into the 21st century has become prominently "self" focused.

As leaders, we must understand and come to grips with this reality and recognize the problems, challenges and yes HOPE we have going into 2020. For over 30 years I've implemented and coached a planned "process" in organizations around the world to prepare them by engaging all stakeholders. It was a methodology that served the business well in the past but may have more relevance today.

> People must feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves and be assured they're not just going through the motions to a meaningless end. Leaders, I implore you, cast a vision, describe the "purpose". Give people a reason to get up every morning and enthusiastically do what they do.

> Show them (don't just tell them) that they are making a difference because of the uniqueness provided by the individual contribution to the whole.

> Restore the hope in them that as a valuable member of the team the overall goal or cause can not be successful without their involvement and commitment to the process.

> Share the rewards i.e. money, recognition, growth opportunities, etc.

>Give away the credit for success to others. Be a hero maker.

> Educate them. And I don't mean training programs. Provide information about customers, financial acumen, civic lessons, entrepreneurial principles, etc. Make them partners in the business.

> BE REAL and HONEST in your communication and actions which will instill HOPE in those under your charge.

For me personally and professionally, the HOPE for 2020, is not Methodology but an understanding of Theology.  As the apostle, Paul said, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (emphasis added) This is a strong expectation!

Because I understand the role and qualification for true leadership, and, I understand where strong expectation comes from, my HOPE for you is that you will experience that same truth in 2020 as we all strive to

FINISH WELL

Happy New Year!!!

The Death Of 2019

Definition of death: a permanent cessation of all vital functions:

Whatever you think of this year that’s about to pass it’s almost over. You may have experienced great joy, happiness, victories personally and professionally. On the other hand, because of disappointments, failures, unfortunate circumstances 2019 can’t end soon enough. But regardless of which end of the spectrum you’re on, 2019 is about to die.

At the outset, you may be thinking this is going to be a dark read. But it won’t. Be patient. Stay with me this is an honest look at the past that will propel us into the future days of 2020.

In the definition written above the key word is “permanent”. In life you don't get do-overs, or re-dues regardless of how grand it was or how terribly painful 2019 might have been, it’s gone forever.

Psychologist identify the 3 greatest sources of stress or anxiety

1.    Divorce

2.    Death of a loved one

3.    Loss of a job

What do all three of these have in common?

 A loss of a relationship(s).

 For some it may also include the loss of “identity.” With these losses there is an absence of what once existed as good but is now dead. During 2019 I have known people who have been deeply hurt because they experienced one of the top three listed. A man who cherished the love of his life experiences great loss through death.  A divorced woman suffers the death of a relationship once so sweet and promising.  Persons who were so connected and committed to their work stood helpless as they were told they weren’t wanted anymore. It’s over!

In contrast there are some who found 2019 the best ever. New job, greater personal wealth, a new or strengthened relationship personally and/or professionally. I’ve watched some exciting events unfold in the lives of friends, family and associates. I’ve read of people who have “made it” to the top in sports, financially, physically and spiritually. But these great moments in 2019 will also die at midnight December 31, 2019.

 Be it a good or bad 2019 you may experience some carry over into the New Year and possibly beyond. But how should we view going forward by what was left behind?

Ø Nothing last forever. I believe that in my own life, God has allowed enough victories to keep me encouraged, and enough defeats to keep me humble. He wants me to depend on Him in every category of my life.

Ø Savor the sweet fragrance of the good memories, let go of those cancerous thoughts that will damage the soul or relationships.

  >  Be thankful in all things and adjust going forward. 

Ø In all your defeats and victories, review the actions, words, circumstances, people to determine who or what to continue or avoid in your life.

Ø  Live Today and Finish Well

“Today, I will live today.
Yesterday is past.
Tomorrow is not yet.
I’m left with today.

So, today, I will live today.

Relive yesterday? No.
I will learn from it.
I will seek mercy for it.
I will take joy in it.
But I won’t live in it.

The sun has set on yesterday.

The sun has yet to rise on tomorrow.
Worry about the future? To what gain?
It deserves a glance, nothing more.
I can’t change tomorrow until tomorrow.

Today I will live today.
I will face today’s challenges with today’s strength.
I will dance today’s waltz with today’s music.
I will celebrate today’s opportunities with today’s hope.

Today.
May I laugh, listen, learn, and love today.
And, tomorrow, if it comes, may I do so again.”

Max Lucado

Trying To Managing Life and Business Without Real Purpose?

"The tragedy of life is not death,  but rather, it’s living without purpose! "

                                                                                                                                                             Myles Munroe

Like so many people, I’ve read good books and heard great speakers talk about the importance of  “purpose” - “vision” and “mission” statements necessary for business and personal guidance for the journey through life. And like most, I had good intentions but never got around to actually writing it down.  Oh I had ideas floating around in my head about how I envisioned the way my work life and personal life should look, but never really focused my thinking until one night on a very long overseas flight back home.

For several hours on that plane, I wrote, re-wrote, thought, mediated on the direction I wanted my life to go and contemplated the real “reason” I exist on this earth and the purpose of my life and business. On that night, I put pen to paper and wrote 3 separate purpose statements for My Business, My Marriage and for My Life. Although I have it committed to memory, on occasion I will pull out the original hand written paper to check on my progress, get re-focused, or make needed adjustments.

So why is having a Purpose Statement so important? Forgive me, but I have two very personal examples, in which I make my argument practical and relevant,

1.     This discipline has proven invaluable to me in the past year, as I made certain I was on the right track during turbulent life challenges. Just 14 months ago my wife was diagnosed with a life threating disease.  As I walked along side of her through the treatments e.g. the good days and bad days associated with cancer, I often returned to my purpose statement as a reminder of the commitment I made and my purpose as a husband to my precious wife. I can’t adequately describe how these steadfast statements focused me on my purpose as her husband and my responsibility in marriage as we battled together in the midst of those difficult days. I loved her deeply and miss her greatly.

2.     Gina lost the battle with cancer, but she was victorious in life because she knew her purpose. On this earth Gina was not well known by the masses. But she was known by many in her circle of influence and had a powerful impact on those who knew her best.  Especially me. Gina had “purpose” and knew who she was in this world and her purpose while living accompanied with the comforting certainty of her eternal destination at death. Until her last days I witnessed her live out the answer to the Westminster Shorter Catechism question, i.e. “What is the chief end of man?” Answer.. “To

glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”

 Gina would agree with the apostle Paul and his proclamation while writing a letter to Timothy during his own pending death……

“ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day: and not to me only, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:7

As for me, I will continue to live out, with God’s help and in accordance to His will, the “purpose statement” I have written for my life and my business. If you want to see what a simple but well thought out “Purpose Statement” looks like, let me know, I’ll be happy to share with you.

As I have consulted hundreds and hundreds of students and business professionals over the years, I implore you, don’t sleep walk through life. You have a purpose on this earth. I don’t believe God put you on this earth to merely suck up air and then die. What is the purpose of your organization? Is it just to make money? I don’t think so. Mature, serious adults and leaders will contemplate then answer these questions.  So, What is it? Write it down and then live it out as we all strive to…

Finish Well

#3 of - The Hypocrisy of Company Value Statement

 Today’s post is a continuation of what I have observed over these many years working with all types of organizations dealing with issues that destroy the health and well being of a business.

 While many will embrace books like “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People” (a great book by the way) and other “how to” books for success, few will look at their organizations critically and determine what not to do. 

 

On occasion I have been accused of being negative or being a consultant just looking for problems. Although I can see how that might be true in the eyes of the insecure manager or protectors of the status quo, the fact is I seek both the good and bad in the company cultures and prescribe needed adjustments to move and align the organizations for success.

Using my list of those do’s and dont’s listed in part #1, I now move to a different subject title for your consideration.

Don’t be un-kind.

Seems like a no brainer right? The fact is there are some places that have become places where being unkind is at best ignored, at worst part of the organizational culture. Often this unhealthy behavior manifests in a few not so subtle ways.

1.Words. Dismissive, condescending, critical, vulgar, accusatory, angry words.

I was asked by an organization to view a new acquisition of theirs to determine it's existing company culture. When I returned to the home office and met with the Corporate HR people, I told them I could sum up the culture in one word. “Un-kindness.” The way people treated each other was appalling. The language they used in meetings, and in the hall ways was unbelievable to me. It was not always an “in your face” approach, but you got the message by tone, body language in addition to actual spoken words.

2. Using and abusing.

Sadly I’ve witnessed this much to often. I worked with a CEO many years ago who I thought was one of the best salesman and leaders of a large organization I had ever seen. To this day, I still use some of the principles learned from him. However he had one huge character flaw. 

 When he was done with you, he turned on you in ways that were very unkind, sometimes destructive. He would talk about you to others in the most disparaging ways. He had an ego that was so big he was unwilling to give others consideration for success apart from himself. 

 

 In another example I have a good friend who has dedicated many years of service to his organization. Over time new managers with new philosophies have entered the business. As a result, this well meaning dedicated employee has suffered a slow death at the hands of un-kind managers. Twisting in the wind, he has become tortured by un-kindness by many top executives (and of course, a bunch of little VP’s who have joined the parade of unkind behavior hoping to gain favor in a sucking up posture). Co-workers in this business pass this guy in the hall way and purposely do not make eye contact or acknowledge his existence.

 I’ve often wondered the motive for turning so ugly on this guy. Is it to justify their decision? Is it an effort to build themselves up by tearing someone else down? Sad! They could have shown much more compassion by just terminating him years ago. The puzzling part of the story is he’s received great performance reviews for years.

Years ago it was my job to terminate a person who had outlived his effectiveness at our company. Bob was a great guy, but just didn’t fit any longer. I called Bob into my office and told him “Bob. You’re a good guy and good at what you do. However, what you do we don’t need done anymore so I’m going to let you go. But to let you know it’s not personal I’m going to pay you for 6 months until you find another job. There’s only two things you have to do to earn that pay check. 1. Don’t come to building again and 2. Don't call here.” Although his pride was understandably bruised for a time, he got over it and even called me years later to thank me for the way I handled that difficult process. 

Two final examples, and with this, I close.

1.     Today I heard from a very successful women who is the manager operating in the retail industry. She oversees one store location with many employees and their store scores in the top 10% in the region in sales and profitability. During the companies regional managers meeting this week, she described how the “corporate” people are always looking for what is wrong, rather than encouraging you for things done well. It seems to me that low level corporate people think their task is to try and keep people on edge, making them wonder where they stand. How sad. How un-kind.

 

 So called leaders like this believe that somehow their dismissive comments will motivate people to do better. Leaders should be encouragers lifting others up. Leaders should be coaching for improvement not criticize for effect.

2.      Two weeks ago I was in Senegal W. Africa, witnessing a management team who work with local farmers teaching them how to grow crops in a desolate,  desert region of the world. As it was described to me by one of the leaders, “We want to not only teach but we want to show our employees and community how we treat each other. How we treat and protect the land and our animals. We are living an example, not just telling.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we lived the “Value Statements” that hang on our company walls? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to show kindness for a truly healthy organization?

Leaders, Finish Well!!!